Even the back of the box tells us that this game is trying too hard to be something its not - a third-person shooter with profundity. The Club, Sega's latest foray into attempted gaming relevancy, is a title that has some potential. It could be a fast-paced, run and gun arcade-style extravaganza. Instead, it's a frustrating, self-absorbed traipse of a time-trial through a world that shouldn't exist, not even in a game programmer's imagination.
Greetings loyal meatbags! It's time once again jump aboard the Weekly Geek Express straight down to forum town. I promise that our trains are not creepily anthropomorphic and you won't be accosted by a tiny Ringo Starr or George Carlin. I can't make any guarantees about Alec Baldwin, though. That guy is crafty. C'mon down to our station, register, and stay a while. And then talk with all the other passengers about things such as:
posted by Mike on October 27, 2007 4:44 PM in Games, Music
Whether you love or hate Halo 3, one thing is sure: the "Believe" ad campaign was (widely considered) fantastic in all the ways the game was not - moving and emotional. It's really sad that Halo is responsible for rekindling my love for classical music, but the piece they used in their ad is easily one of the finest piano compositions ever written, Frederic Chopin's Op. 28, Prelude No. 15, often called "Raindrops". (The bit heard in the :60 Halo TV Spot starts at the 2:38 mark.)
Enjoy it here as accurately interpreted by pianist DongMin Lim in 2005's Chopin Competition. I defy you not to get goosebumps during this song. The commercial, if you haven't seen it, is after the jump.
posted by Qais on October 10, 2007 4:31 PM in Games
Portland keeps giving me reasons to visit. With Chris freshly tattooed in Seattle's mongoloid clone of a city and the recent H.P. Lovecraft film festival I had assumed Portland had used up it's reserves of cool and interesting things to do. Apparently not so.
This Thursday Portland is hosting a Halo 3 tournament of sorts. Two 50 feet hi-def video screens are at the ready for all your Halo 3 needs, and regardless of your take on the Halo franchise, playing any first person shooter on a 50 foot high definition screen is bound to be fun. However, even if you think Halo 3 sucks I'm sure you'll agree that diabetes sucks more, which is simply another fantastic reason to attend. All the proceeds from the event will be donated to the America Diabetes Association. If that isn't enough to entice, think of all the horrible played out Wilford Brimley jokes you'd miss out on by not attending. Stab the jump like an insulin needle for the full invite.
posted by Chris on October 8, 2007 10:04 PM in Podcast
Chris, Grant, Qais and an entirely corporeal Colette rock your world on this week's Weekly Geek podcast. Of course there's more Halo jibber jabber, a sprinkling of Orange Box excitement, a dash of advergames, games marketed to women, big bands becoming indie, music piracy ranting, and Phantom Hourglass gushing rounds out the set. Download the podcast here, now! Or subscribe. Or both! Hit the jump for show notes.
posted by Chris on October 5, 2007 5:44 PM in Games
I finally picked up Zelda: Phantom Hourglass and if I can convince Qais to drive for some of our road trip to Portland on Saturday (new tattoo imminent!) I may very well get to play it. I just finished moving in to my new apartment and got most of my entertainment center and gaming stuff set up, so I'll be starting on Halo 3 and probably finishing up Metroid.
What about you guys? What are you rockin' this weekend?
posted by Chris on October 3, 2007 1:36 PM in Games
For all you hate haters in the comments on this week's podcast post (go on, join the flamewar! I know you want to!) I give you a video that completely sums up my feelings on mediocre mainstream games such as Halo 3. Except way more entertaining than anything I could ever spew from my mouth. Enjoy.
We at Chez Geek are unabashed fans of Goozex and while most of the rational, frontal lobe equipped set are as well, there are still a few holdouts I'm sure. If the square trade system isn't enough to make your tingle equipped bits tingle then their latest promotion almost certainly will.
The glorious bastards at Goozex are giving away Xbox 360s, and not just any 360, no they're giving away Halo 360s. That's right, now while you scream obscenities at people you'll never meet you can rest easy in the knowledge that you are the penultimate Halo fan, either that or you won an Xbox 360, either way a resounding success in whole.
Go check out the contest here and while you're there trade some games without getting completely raped by corporate America.
posted by Chris on October 1, 2007 9:01 PM in Podcast
It's a packed house this week, with Chris, Grant, Amy, Qais and a phantom Colette discussing a vast variety of things from Anime-inspired science, to a possible PS3 price cut for the holidays. There is also the requisite angry rant as the geeks rail on internet slang and the un-ironic use thereof. Download it here, or subscribe to the podcast on iTunes. Hit the jump for show notes.
I am finally making some more progress in Metroid Prime 3: Corruption, but like any Metroid game I like to take my time and slowly explore everything. It's making me want to go back to some of the 2d games like Zero Mission but my stack is increasing ever larger with Dragon Quest Monsters: Rocket Slime and Children of Mana having just arrived at my door.
Also there's a little game called Halo 3 just released this week, so I should probably get up on that. What's on your plate for this weekend, Geekateers?
Prepare yourself geeks, for on our heels is the coming of a new dark age. The world as we know it rapidly ceases to be and anarchy reigns in the streets. Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together - mass hysteria! At least that's the case if you're one of the Larouche Youth Movement, one of the most stultifyingly dimwitted pack of misguided college kids I have ever had the misfortune of being accosted by on the street.
Supposedly Halo 3 marks the "3rd Wave" of the destruction of the U.S. in that it drives all the children of this great nation toward idleness and procrastination when they could be doing things like "discovering fusion power or rediscovering the universal principles in Classical physical science and art". I'm not sure how many of you are actually super scientists with the capacity for actually discovering fusion power but the last time I checked most of the people I game with struggled in Algebra, let alone Advanced Particle Physics. Now if in actuality you are some kind of deformed super science prodigy you should probably be working out the whole fusion thing, it's kind of important, but everyone needs downtime, and in that downtime I expect you to revel in gruesome blood filled scenes of murder and the joy of firing aimlessly into a crowd from a rooftop perch.
Wait wait, stop, looks like the Larouchites think that's also ruining what they've termed (in an astounding show of originality) the X Generation.
posted by Qais on September 25, 2007 3:39 PM in Games, Rant
Throughout the day Chris Furniss, the inimitable overlord of all things weekly and geekly in nature, will jabber at me incessantly through the aetheric void of the tubes. Most of the time our conversation is limited to an unintelligible hooting and keyboard mashing the likes of which could only be the result of an epileptic seizure. However, occasionally one or the other of us will manage something that could possibly be construed as sensical or even literate most of the time these are simply links or a quote from those far greater than ourselves.
When Chris sent me the link to the above image exclaiming, "OMG EPICLULZ D00D" I was of course immediately suspicious. We had played this game before, and assuming that my threats of physical violence if he sent me another LOLcat had gone heeded I clicked. For a moment I wondered if perhaps this was like some Magic Eye image, that I would need a moment for what I was truly supposed to see to sink in. Nope, that is not the case. Apparently it's pretty hilarious that you're able to flip an Elephant (one of the big machines you fly around and shoot kittens or walruses or dragons with or something in Halo 3).
Thinking that perhaps my humor module needs to be replaced I have decided to turn to you my gentle Geeks. Please, someone explain why it is funny that I can flip a gigantic tank while in the Forge. A mysterious prize will be awarded for the best answer, seriously.
posted by Chris on September 24, 2007 6:47 PM in Podcast
Grant and Chris nerd it up this week talking about toy guns and how to make them cooler. And, in a tragic turn of events Nerf violence is perpetrated for the very first time on the podcast. Of course they discuss the Haloez, Tokyo Game Show announcements, parallel universes, NES nostalgia, reader questions and Colette joins at the end to talk Yaoi. Try to find THAT mix of subjects on any other podcast! Hah!
posted by Chris on September 17, 2007 5:58 PM in Podcast
This week on The Weekly Geek podcast, Chris and Colette hold up the fort to announce the podcastiversary contest winner, discuss the Haloes (hey, it IS being released soon), the glory that is Eternal Sonata, a childhood obsession with LEGO, and a nostalgic throwback to the ol Winamp days. Download it now, fools! Hit the jump for show notes. Also, yes, you have to listen to the podcast to find out the winner of our contest sheesh.
posted by Qais on September 17, 2007 3:17 PM in Games
With Halo 3 hype and madness reaching it's peak and the supposed release of several copies into the wild it would appear that, as was inevitable, a relatively massive spoiler has crawled it's way through the muck and mire to deliver itself at your feet. Supposedly what lies beyond the jump for those brave enough to have, what only rivals Bioshock for hype this year, it spoiled for them is a video (of questionable quality) of the ending of Halo 3.
Being no real fanboy of the Halo franchise (having only played a couple times and having my ass served to me by kids half my age each time) I watched the video which cemented my decision not to bother with the third edition of this series. For whatever reason I could just never get into the game, and thus I rely on you, intrepid readers, to verify the authenticity of this spoiler once you've got your hot little hands on a copy of the game.
Hit the jump to watch the supposed spoilerific ending of Halo 3.
Oh man, dudes. PAX is over and it was nuts. I'll have a bigger post later and we'll of course talk about it on the show tomorrow, but I wanted to give you a few quick bullet points on my experiences:
posted by Chris on August 6, 2007 6:43 PM in Podcast
This week The Geek and Chris join Flynn DeMarco from GayGamer to discuss the recent DOS attack on his site. Flynn sticks around to talk about other cheerier things, though! Everyone is stealing The Geek's ideas, schools are integrating game theory, assholes are continuing to be assholes and PAX arrangements are made. Makeouts have to wait till after the show, however. Check out the show or subscribe! We'd of course prefer you to subscribe. Do this!
posted by Chris on May 14, 2007 6:07 AM in Podcast
This week sees Chris Furniss, The Geek and White Mage trapped in a cave somewhere in the Welsh countryside discussing such matters as the Halo 3 beta, new Crackdown content, Square Enix's new offerings and how the TSA angers us. Subscribe now or download the MP3, you will be sorry if you didn't. Seriously. Hit the jump for some show notes!
So like a number of privileged geeks in the world, I too today received a Halo 3 beta key for download. Now I am in no way a Halo fan per se, but I appreciate it for what it did to sell Xboxen. I am HORRIBLE at the game and loathe the frat boy mentality and rampant homophobia and racism that comes from its players. That said, I was still excited to be in the beta.
First impressions are just that, mind. Graphics are great (why wouldn't they be) and there are a variety of maps for us to explore and shoot each other in. So far I have played in a level much like Blood Gulch with nifty water effects and trees and junk, a desert stone sort of level, and a snow level. The snow level was pretty cool, because when you are in the system of tunnels and someone is above you, a bit of snow falls down to indicate it. Nice touch. Controls are exactly what you would expect for a Halo game, except for the addition of the accessories button (X) which deploys bubble shields, power drainers and other items as you obtain them. Also you can easily mute people by pressing the back button and selecting them with X. Now you don't have to endure the long string of epithets that you usually have to listen to during a Halo match.
The game types showcased seem to be pretty full. There is standard deathmatch, a king of the hill (named crazy king, which is indeed quite crazy) and Oddball, where you have to maintain control of a skull for a certain amount of time. It's like reverse hot potato. Also showcased is a couple of vehicles, including the new mongoose atv.
The interface is familiar yet updated, matchmaking seems strong and solid, and the ability to create save films of your performances is going to fill up YouTube faster than you can say "what's a puma".
Bungie seems to be providing the ultimate fan service with this Halo iteration, even going as far as putting the words "Halo 3 Beta Love, Bungie" in the loading screen. Hooray. I wouldn't say the beta has so far made me a fan of Halo (or even really that impressed) but we will see as I give it more time. First impressions and all.
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