Stare into the face of Mario
In 1989 there was a brief lived show called The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! featuring Lou Albano as Mario. For whatever reason, I could never get over the fact that DIC (a company whose name I found hilarious as a kid) cast some nearly washed up wrestler as Mario. Lou Albano was OK I guess, but he didn't really look like Mario to me, something just didn't jive.
Now I know what was missing, what vital component my live action Mario experience was lacking; it was complete and total horror. The rendition of Mario above as "real" is fairly accurate when you think about it. Mario is a short little goblin-man with freakishly disproportionate eyes, nose, and moustache. He is nothing but a horrible mutant with the warped frame of mind that inclines one to eat mushrooms and random plant life, both things bound to put a semi-permanent five o' clock shadow on your face and a cracked expression in your eyes.
If The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! was redone with this Mario rather than an aging, out of work actor-cum-wrestler, you can bet your ass I'd be parked in front of my TV every Saturday morning, Princess Peach footy pajamas and all.
[Via NotCot]
What say you?!