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    January 2008 Archives

    Seductive To The Innocent

    esrb_m.pngThe games industry moves at a breakneck pace so when a story hits, one must be quick to jump on its rapidly cooling corpse and hump away, before the journos pick its bones clean. These past few weeks have seen a fair amount of incorrect information disseminated by the so-called mainstream media concerning the content of Mass Effect starting with a small time journalist and continuing into the hallowed halls of that bastion of calm, serene, credibility that is Fox News.

    To hear it told, as you have no doubt heard it told countless times by now becoming, quite swiftly, an epic tale of good vanquishing evil; an army of valiant defenders riding to meet the insidious claims of full frontal nudity and rampant, unprotected space bestiality. Needless to say that the story drew a fair amount of slathering outrage from the gaming community who have chosen, as Qais pointed out, to focus their attentions on the uninformed Cooper Lawrence, raining down upon her book a deluge of one star reviews complete with snarky comments on Amazon. Mrs. Lawrence has since rescinded the statements she made on the show in an article from the New York Times but her credibility with gamers, no doubt a significant chunk of her intended audience, has been irreparably damaged. At this time Fox News itself, unsurprisingly, has not issued any kind of correction choosing instead to invite representatives from EA to appear on the cable news channel to attempt to set the record straight.

    By now the willingness of mainstream media outlets to stir up a firestorm of controversy with uninformed and spurious claims about videogames is old hat. The response from gamers, as well, has changed little, even as the games themselves evolve. Indeed, the gaming community’s reaction is indicative of many forms of entertainment as they struggle for the illusive label of relevance. That is to say that gaming, in general, has responded to such claims by almost instantaneously and unequivocally pointing the finger at someone else. It is a reaction that underscores quite well the form’s relative youth. The issue here is that, contrary to what gamers may think, the fault lies, not with mass media, but with gaming.

    Games are mostly portrayed as having their closest analog in film but, in my mind, comic books are a much better comparison in their struggle to be taken seriously. Already this may seem like a derogatory claim using, as it does, the suspicious and condescending qualifier of “serious” and far be it from me to seemingly side with the likes of Roger Ebert, another of games’s newly minted demons, but, in effect, games have given no reason for themselves to be taken as anything other than a vapid, childish distraction.

    Comics found themselves in an equally dire situation in 1954 with the Senate Subcommittee on Juvenile Delinquency. The main detractor of comic books at the time was psychiatrist Fredric Wertham who had written extensively on the subject as he saw it in his book, Seduction of the Innocent. Wertham’s contention is nearly a mirror image of the argument currently facing games: they desensitize children to violence, obscure their ability to distinguish between fantasy and reality, and, of course, twist and subvert their delicate young minds into the scarred, lascivious brains of perverts and rapists.

    The outcome of all of this outraged, verbal gesticulation was the formation of the Comics Code Authority, an advisory board that passed judgment on the content of comics and makes the ESRB look like an orgy of hedonistic omnisexuals. The Code sanitized comics into shallow, whitewashed morality tales and effectively halted the medium’s growth for decades. Graphic violence, drug use, adult language, nudity and references to sex of any kind were strictly verboten and the major players in the industry, DC and Marvel, were forced to accept either the new CCA or closure. Needless to say they chose profits, and while there were examples to be found of the Big Two bucking the trend and printing a handful of issues without the CCA’s seal of approval, the renaissance of comic books would not begin until decades later, truly coming to fruition in 1992, when Art Spiegelman’s Maus won the Pulitzer Prize.

    The parallels here are significant. Like comics, games’s attempts to legitimize the medium have mostly revolved around the idea that if content is suited for a mature audience; it therefore must contain adult themes. Comics underwent the same growing pains in the 1980s. The argument that “Comics aren’t just for kids anymore.” was not so much led by the likes of V For Vendetta and its complex and intricately structured take on government oppression and the role of the individual, but by the likes of Dark Knight Returns whose dark cynicism and morose atmosphere was considered an intellectualizing of one of DC’s major franchises. It was into this vacuum that Maus reached national attention, and it was by dint of its distance from the tropes of sex and violence that it did so.

    The importance of Maus, for better or for worse, isn’t necessarily what it accomplished but what it was perceived to have accomplished and it did so by using the medium of sequential art as the means to an end and not an end in and of itself. That is to say that the public, having read Maus, did not read it so much as a comic but as a novel that happened to tell its story with the aide of pictures. His father’s tale of Holocaust survival could easily have been told in the form of a novel, but by using art to differentiate nationalities and peoples in the story Spiegelman uses comics as a tool to augment his story and, in doing so, inextricably links the telling of an emotionally complex narrative with comic books. It can be argued that Maus had the advantage of revolving around one of the darkest events in modern human history, but Vladek Spiegelman’s tale has no meaning were it not for the complex relationship he shares with his son so late in his life. It is this interaction that lends the events of the past such a personal and enduring resonance.

    It is this that convinced literary critics, and the media at large, that sequential art was “valid”, that it could raise itself above its original, seemingly childish intent and, as such, it appeared to be a book that a child would not necessarily choose to read. Here then was a comic book written for adults. It held no allure for anyone who was not emotionally and intellectually mature enough to understand its subject matter, nor did it attempt to explain itself.

    This is the facet of the argument that the gaming community has yet to grasp. Educating people on the intricacies of games will do nothing to dispel the rhetoric currently facing them. The dominant view is that games are marketed to children because, in a sense, they are and there are no examples to the contrary. The problem, then, is not that the industry is producing games aimed at adults but marketed towards children; the problem is that the industry has yet to make a game that children do not want to play.

    Next Week: Part 2 “Hey Kids, Who Wants To Play The Unbearable Lightness of Being?”

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    A new challenger! Welcome Ross Rosenberg to The Weekly Geek

    rossmonkey.jpgIn the grand tradition of the incestuous Internet-o-blog-o-sphere, we at the Weekly Geek would like you to welcome our newest writer, Ross Rosenberg. Ross is a writer over at Ectoplasmosis (much like Herr Bizzleteats) and this photo is the most accurate portrayal of him I could find. Ross is going to class up this blog and make it at least 100% more Jewish. We are glad to have two writers from one of the most intelligent blogs on the interwebs join us in geek culture discussion, and I hope you are too.

    Will writing for multiple blogs under so many ruthless editors finally crush Ross' spirit? Will he go on a mad monkey rampage, biting everyone and giving us all monkey-pox? I SURE DO HOPE SO!

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    Parappa team announces "Major Minor's Majestic March" for Wii

    Major Minor's Majestic March logoI love me some rhythm games. While I am probably the whitest non-albino white person you could ever meet in person, I like to think I have a little bit of rhythm in me, ever since Parappa the Rapper came out on the Playstation I've been entranced by titles that merged music with conventional gameplay. Following the release of Parappa on the PSP (which is a fantastic port that you should check out, by the way), NanaOn-Sha announced today a new Wii game titled Major Minor's Majestic March, in which players control a marching band by using the Wii remote as a baton.

    No screenshots or further gameplay information have been given, but we have received a couple neat concept art shots of some of the characters (after the jump), who look decidedly like creatures from the Parappa universe. Hopefully NanaOn-Sha can break the mold of cruddy third party gimmick titles and make Major Minor's Majestic March as classic as Parappa. Look for the game Holiday 2008.

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    Brother Can You Spare a ROFL?

    ROFLCon

    Memes! Those internet fads that come and go, those hilarious little things you pass around to your friends and think are the pinnacle of humor until everyone else catches on. LOLcats, All Your Base, Chocolate Rain... if you've been on the internet for longer than 5 minutes you're going to encounter some sort of meme, it's kind of what the internet runs on. Now a few noble souls have set out to gather as many internet memes as they can in order to create ROFLCon, a two day event in April showcasing as much internet nerdery as you can handle. I hope you can handle a lot of nerdery, because confirmed guests include XKCD, Homestar Runner, Tron Guy, Ryan North from Dinosaur Comics, the kids from I Can Haz Cheezburger, 4chan and more. Yes this is a real event. Yes I can imagine there will be furries. Yes it's going to be amazing. ROFLCon will be held April 25th & 26th, 2008 at the Gutman Conference Center, Harvard University, Cambridge, MA.

    Anybody who's anybody who's nobody is going to be there! This is serious business! Get to ROFLCon now!

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    Smash Bros Brawl Spoilers Ahead!

    Bowser-vs.-Samus-in-Super-Smash-Bros.-Brawl.jpgIf you are as excited as I am about the upcoming release of Super Smash Bros Brawl (that is to say, pants-wettingly excited) then you'll enjoy knowing that the floodgates have opened and the Smash spoilers have started pouring in. New, not-yet-announced characters, fantastically awesome fan-service levels and more await you at this NEOgaf post. While I don't normally enjoy spoilers, knowing what combatants you will be facing may just give you that added edge when you take the brawl online. Enjoy!

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    Weekly Geek Poll: The Bizzleteatsening

    Ren And Stimpy

    Let's assume for the sake of argument that there are a few people reading the site that don't also listen to the podcast. I know, I know, everyone does, but this is just an intellectual experiment so bear with me.

    Now if you don't listen to the podcast you wouldn't know that two weeks ago my fellow Geeks blessed me with a new nickname. That nickname? Bizzleteats 2000. Now on that podcast I made mention of possibly changing my gamertag to Bizzleteats 2000, but experiencing reservations after the heady rush of being largely ignored faded I opted not to change it.

    But I can't let my adoring fans (Hi Mom!) down, and so I've left the decision up to you. Readers and listeners will get to decide if I should change my gamertag. The choices are simply yes or no (although if you like Bizzleteats more than Bizzleteats 2000 be sure to say so), and can be submitted by commenting here, on the podcast post, the forums post dedicated to this poll, or by sending an email to mailbag@weeklygeekshow.com

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    Podcast for 01-28-08 | Hating on the Griefers

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    Alright, who ordered the podcast with the large side of hateful banter and ridicule? Nobody? Well here's one on the house. On this week's podcast, Chris, Qais, Colette, and Mack wrap up the Mass Effect controversy with a discussion about griefing and revenge on the Internet. Are some types of griefing ok where others are not? We play a little Burnout Paradise and talk open-world games, destroy a little more of your faith in humanity, and discuss the record industry finally coming to the shocking realization that people enjoy convenience, especially when it's free. A wide variety of things! Things for you to listen to!

    Download the show here, and subscribe to our feed!

    Update: Apparently the Qtrax thing isn't real. The company seems to have lied about their record deals. Read more here.

    continue reading "Podcast for 01-28-08 | Hating on the Griefers"

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    Browser Game: Faith Fighter

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    Listen to or read The Weekly Geek for a while and you'll gradually come to realize that we often don't take religion seriously. Which is a good thing considering taking religion too seriously at best leads to intolerance and small minded douchebaggery and at worst leads to all out war and horrific torture. That's right folks, we're just doing our part here.

    Molle Industries is doing their part too. Their browser game Faith Fighter is a really fun 2D Flash fighter featuring all your favorite religious icons. God, Jesus, Buddha, Budai (the Chinese incarnation of Gautama Buddha, succeeding him in the cycle of reincarnation according to Chinese Buddhism), Ganesh, and Muhammed are all playable characters and each one has special attacks they can use during a fight along with punches and kicks.

    Molle created a censored and uncensored version of the game, which only features a black dot over the face of Muhammed. The tenets of Islam stated that no images of God or his prophet should be made, and while Judaism has a similar stipulation, some (note the use of some, not all) Muslims can get a little upset about someone that doesn't even subscribe to their belief system violating its law.

    As far as 2D flash fighters go this is a great one and would be well done even with a different set of characters and lacking the tongue-in-cheek cynicism we love at The Weekly Geek, but the addition of blasphemy is like the uncalled for (and thus hilarious) rudeness cherry on our offensive cake. And boy do we love cake.

    [Via Our blaspheming brother in arms, Warped Savant]

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    What's on the podcast tonight?

    griefers.jpgLast week everyone went nutty about the virtual orgasmic rape featured in Mass Effect (it's there! DON'T DENY IT) but this week The Weekly Geek is going to put that tired old horse to bed. We are recording the podcast tonight and discussing Burnout Paradise and open world games. We will also be having a lengthy discussion on griefers, presumably hours long in order to actually grief you.

    Have a question for us you'd like read on air? Send it to mailbag@weeklygeekshow.com or ask it here in the comments. New podcast goes up around 10PM PST, subscribe here to get it first.

    (image via Second Choices)

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    Yo Ho Ho and a Slab of Bacon

    It's fairly common knowledge that I am obsessed with bacon. I have perfected the art of cooking bacon, I have a wallet that looks like bacon, I have an air freshener for my car that smells of bacon. I wrap my hot dogs in bacon. It's a wonder I am not 500lbs. My love of bacon only goes so deep, however. Not hardly as deep as these guys who made a meat ship.

    That's right, a ship made out of meat. Happy Monday morning!

    [link via Slashfood]

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    What are you playing this weekend?

    Thumbnail image for burnout.jpgThere's a very strange satisfaction that comes from smashing into a car in Burnout Paradise. The game actually rewards you for totalling other cars on the road by giving you boost power. I wonder why teenagers aren't emulating this already, aren't video games supposed to incite young minds to violence? Whatever. This weekend will be filled with the smashy-smashy and some Final Fantasy III for the DS action. What about you? Anyone pick up No More Heroes for the Wii? That looked interesting. I also hear a lot of people are losing all will power and returning to suckle on the devil's teat - World of Warcraft. What are you playing this weekend?

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    F.Y.E. goes Blu-ray

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    It seems like the "format wars" are all but over these days, with studios dropping HD-DVD exclusivity in favor of Sony's Blu-ray format. Another blow has been dealt to HD-DVD with Trans World Entertainment, owners of F.Y.E, giving Blu-ray content more catalog room in their stores. F.Y.E. plans to continue carrying HD-DVD content, and hey, some retailers back in the 70's carried BetaMax and VHS, and BetaMax is still going stro...oh wait.

    But while HD-DVD might be on the ropes they aren't down for the count just yet. F.Y.E. isn't going Blu-ray exclusive, planning to maintain a catalog of "key new releases" and offering to special order HD-DVD content they don't carry in store. Still, this fight is all but over, and PS3's Blu-ray players are starting to look mighty attractive.

    [Via MaxConsole]

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    Dear Google: I Hate This Gray Box

    deargoogle.jpgSee this gray box, Google? Do you see it? Because I see it constantly. If you can't see it you could always click to zoom and then experience my pain. I imagine it's some sort of display glitch caused by embedded flash videos or something but I hate it with the fire of a thousand suns. It appears ALL THE TIME and blocks headlines and content in my RSS reader. Please fix or my mind is going to go explodey.

    Sincerely,

    The non-exploded version of Chris.

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    Ch-ch-changes

    Keeping in line with the Weekly Geek tradition of reporting on everything Bowie, here is a fun mashup of the various political candidates and Bowie's "Changes".

    [link via You Ain't No Picasso] thanks, Nathan!

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    Fort Awesome on Etsy - Game Art Illustrations on Old Book Pages

    LakituI am in love with this guy's art. Cool illustrations of game characters on old book pages. Fort Awesome indeed!

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    Godrich Brings Music Show To The States, Pants Get Tighter

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    In what may be the greatest idea ever, Nigel Godrich - famed producer of Radiohead, Beck, and Paul McCartney - is bringing his totally eargasmic show to select TV networks in the states. Starting February 22nd, you'll be able to catch live in-studio candids from the likes of The Shins, PJ Harvey, Sonic Youth, and Thom Yorke.

    The show, titled From the Basement, is really a more relaxed version of Jools Holland's variety music stanzas. Other artists featured on the show are Jarvis Cocker (of Pulp fame), The White Stripes, and Damien Rice.

    At times, I've been critical of his production value, but Godrich has some key ins with a choice group of musicians and compiling them all in this bullshit-free platform is really what music television has needed for a long, long time. So if you're one of the five lucky bastards who gets the Rave HD channel, tune in to this show if you have any sense whatsoever.

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    A Geek's Guide to Spoilers

    SpoiltWe take spoilers very seriously here at The Weekly Geek. We know our listeners and readers are all rabid fans of whatever-they-are-fans-of and we never wish their ire. While I don't think certain spoilers lessen your enjoyment of whatever thing you are trying to enjoy, some are downright scandalous. How does one avoid the inevitable geek rage explosion? Follow Lore's guide over at Alt Text on Wired. Your non-smashed in forehead will thank you. It's also hilarious, as always.

    [Link via Alt Text on Wired.com]

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    Finishing the Fight: Fanboys retaliate against FOX News

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    Lately the mainstream media has been crawling out of the woodwork to at least address the topic of video games if not to simply bash it in an uninformed fashion. Starting with Kevin McCullough and ending this week with FOX News, it's been a constant deluge of complete and total douchebaggery. Naturally, this topic has garnered a good amount of attention from game blogs, much to the chagrin of those that seem to think that exposing and expounding on the issue only lends these people validity.

    Admittedly, they're granted a little validity, and they get some pretty epic pageviews for a day or two, but eventually the hype dies down and they are largely forgotten. Unfortunately, talking about the unapologetic manner in which the mainstream media pretends they are actually well versed in the topic of gaming is the only way we can fight back. Until now.

    Following the broadcast of a recent round table discussion led by Cooper Lawrence regarding the recent Mass Effect scandal, gamers flooded Amazon leaving one star ratings and tyrannical screeds in the review section for Cooper's book The Cult Of Perfection.

    Unfortunately, Amazon is now deleting one star ratings on the book, alienating a pretty hefty portion of their customer base in the process. So big ups to Amazon in that regard. However, in spite of Amazon's attempts at scrubbing the reviews quite a few remain on the page at any given time, speaking pretty highly of the tenacity of gamers if nothing else.

    Granted, not everyone that completely loses their mind (or makes a REALLY informed decision) and makes a frothing, completely ignorant statement about games has an Amazon page we can send hordes of rabid fanboys to vandalize, but even these small victories are cherished.

    [Via FileFront]

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    Tony Bourdain visits EA

    Having grown up watching Food Network, I've learned to appreciate food and cooking. I worship the altar of Alton Brown and I deeply admire Tony Bourdain. The guy is fantastic: honest, open-minded, loves food, loves travel and drinks like a fish. No Reservations is one of my favorite shows, and this week they went to Vancouver, BC and visited EA Sports during a segment.

    I visited another Vancouver developer a couple years ago, Next Level Games. They were working on Super Mario Strikers at the time, and their studio was a neat brick-lined loft in downtown Vancouver with maybe 50 people. EA Games is GIGANTIC in comparison, with their motion capture studio and Google-esque workplace mentality.

    Note: It is a well-known fact that I despise Vancouver. After the great hobo war of 2007 I was left battered, bruised, stinky and unable to micturate properly. This episode changed my mind and made me want to visit again, so maybe if you enjoy the passion in which we here at the 'Geek speak about things, you'd enjoy the same level of passion from Mr. Bourdain.

    Check out this clip and wait for the end when Tony pitches a game idea that has him battling it out vs. Mario Batali.

    No Reservations airs Mondays on the Travel Channel. Tivo it!

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    Podcast for 01-21-08 | Bizzleteats

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    The week doesn't officially start until someone gets called Bizzleteats, and The Weekly Geek satisfies in this epic episode. Qais, Chris and Colette are here to give you awkward nicknames, talking about mainstream media's view of gaming, proper parenting, and the NPD video game industry sales numbers asking the time-honored question: why is the PS2 still selling so well? A contest is also announced, so be sure to stay tuned until the end of the podcast! Or, you know. Fast forward to the end to get the meaty details. So meaty.

    Download the podcast here and subscribe to the feed to get updates every Monday. Show notes and contest details after the jump.

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    Games That Never Were

    Glorkian WarriorThe ever erudite folks over at GameSetWatch have launched a super-rad t-shirt series called Games That Never Were, tapping artists like Dan Paladin (Alien Hominid, Castle Crashers) and James Kochalka (American Elf) to create designs based on made-up games. My favorite is Kochalka's "Glorkian Warrior", but the design for Hostage Negotiator II makes me pine for the good ol days of Hostage Negotiator I. Maybe it will be released on XBLA one day. The shirts are all limited edition and cost about $17.95. Sizes range from M-XL, which means ultra-skinny dudes like me or ultra fat dudes like some guy who is ultra-fat are going to miss out.

    [link via GameSetWatch]

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    XBLA Awards coming to GDC

    ballot of secrecyI don't know about you guys, but every time I hear the word "vote" I get excited. I never pass up a chance to inflict my own strange personal tastes, opinions and morals on the rest of society. Microsoft announced today that they are bringing the first ever Xbox Live Arcade awards to the Game Developer's Conference this February, in recognition of all those developers who have made XBLA the awesome place it is today. You can vote starting Tuesday for what you think is the bestest of the bestest of XBLA in 2007.

    Below is the list of award categories that will be open for public voting:

    • Best Overall Arcade Game
    • Best Classic Game
    • Best Original Game
    • Best Family Friendly Game
    • Best Competitive Multiplayer Game
    • Best Cooperative Multiplayer Game

    Other award categories include the following:

    • Best selling game
    • Most played game
    • Highest rated game
    • Staff choice

    There's a grand total of 112 games on the XBLA, which ones would you choose?

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    A word to the wise, Lucasarts.

    This is an open statement to Lucasarts.

    monkey-seq.png

    You need to release the Monkey Island series and the Maniac Mansion/Day of the Tentacle games on DS, which is fully compatible with the SCUMM system, lest we are forced through illegal means to pirate-apprentice these good games. Let us do it legally and we will, GLADLY.

    If not... well... pirates will be pirates.

    Aaaargh.

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    What are you playing this weekend?

    ParappaI spent a lot of this week having a horrible cold, and during that time I realized in my Tylenol-induced stupor that I hadn't played much Mass Effect. It was the perfect sick day game, just sort of sitting there and navigating menus. This weekend is wide open, however, as my Rock Band obsession has died down (only slightly!) I just picked up Parappa the Rapper for the PSP off Goozex, though I find that I spend less time on handhelds these days. What are you playing this weekend?

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    Echo Chamber Round Up [week of 01/14]

    2cylons.jpgThese past few weeks have been quiet ones, with the dearth of big name game releases already past us, we clench our wallets in anticipation of the next big game rush. There were a few snippets that passed around the echo chamber, however, as games journalists struggle to meet their post quotas and squeeze every last drop of story out of a simple sales chart.

    • Everyone's talking about the numbers

      The NPD report is in for 2007, and gaming made17.9 billion dollars. That's a lot of money. The list of top selling games is interesting, but couldn't we have just sort of looked at the list instead of having a million posts about it? Kinda neat how Kotaku managed to eek out a billion posts based on one list. It's like some sort of horrible magic trick no one wants to see. Seen on Kotaku, Kotaku, Dtoid, Kotaku, X3F, Kotaku, Kotaku, Kotaku, Kotaku, Kotaku, Gamerscore, Kotaku, Kotaku, Joystiq, Wired.

    • Replacement Big Daddy figures shipping

      Filed in the "this is news?" category. People are getting their replacement action figures! Hooray!? Seen on Kotaku, Joystiq, X3F.

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    Reminder: You can subscribe to our feeds!

    rss.pngDo you wake up in the morning with a feeling of dread, thinking about the daunting amount of game news you are going to have to digest? Visiting all these websites and reading the same article over and over again, it's a pain! And then when a new podcast is up, you gotta remember to visit the site and click the download link... it's enough to drive a sane man to suicide. Well, don't fret loyal Geekateer because we have a couple RSS feeds that you can subscribe to in order to keep your sanity intact! Whenever a new post goes up, or a new podcast is uploaded, you'll know instantaneously. Keep in the loop with these two links:

    Don't have a feed reader? What, are you old? Check out Google Reader and get with 2008, man!

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    In Defense of the TV-B-Gone

    If you're moderately interested in blogs, which I assume you are because there is plenty of outdoors you could be playing in right now, you may be aware of the commentraversy involving a blogger from Gizmodo turning off all the TV screens at the CES convention (what does it stand for? Cunts Educating the Self-Important, apparently) with a handy device called a TV-B-Gone. Those without a sense of humor are OUTRAGED, repeat, OUTRAGED that a blogger would be guilty of such an "infantile" crime.

    Well, let's put things in perspective. CES limited bloggers from regular amenities, such as the usual convention coffee and donut room, and went through an inane regimenting process where only certain blogs were allowed to attend. Would the Weekly Geek have been invited? No. We're not "big" enough.

    So, God bless Gizmodo. It is perfectly acceptable to harangue and harass the high-falutin', and the whole affair has the charm of the old dude in the monocle and top hat in the Three Stooges getting hit by Larry Fine with a cream pie. Then, of course, you've got the neo-conservative "BUSINESS GOOD CORPORATIONS BETTER" crowd that is dredging up the ol' "They were messing with people's PAYCHECKS!" argument.

    Trust me, kids. No bodies paychecks were in any worry. Let's tack this down financially, shall we?

    A big Las Vegas convention booth, for two people, costs well over $15,000. That is at least a good 15,000 times more money than the Weekly Geek brings in on a monthly basis, once we factor in Furniss' cocaine habit and Qais' "sensual masseuse" fees. Any "small business" that can afford a weekend at $15,000 (not counting the cost of lodging and feeding those employees) is not in any fear of losing money over a single convention snafu.

    The greater issue is this: CES feels that it is so mindbogglingly important that they're now fully intending to further ignominize the loathed bloggers, of any site, that we're just not likely to even see any blogs invited at all, period, barring incredibly strict behavior and censorship rules, which essentially makes any reputable blog immediately out of the running. That is an overreaction to a non-problem, and one of the exact reasons why blogs are necessary as a form of journalism. The little guy WILL be represented, regardless of how strict the rules might happen to be, and as the Muggles say, the truth will out. The blogs will take a more skeptical and aggressive stance in response, and it will make self-congratulating conventions such as these increasingly irrelevant, like E3 eventually became.

    I'm sorry, CES. You might represent the corporations, but we represent the customers. Like produces like, culturally. Treat bloggers as unwanted children at the big kid's table, and they will act like it in response. Treat bloggers with the respect and dignity that they deserve, and they will return in kind.

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    Review: Harvey Birdman: Attorney At Law (PS2)

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    Here ye, here ye, The Weekly Geek Court is in session for a gimmicky video game review from a lazy editor. The Right Honorable Judge Mack presiding over the case The Weekly Geek vs. Harvey Birdman: Attorney at law. The charges include game hackery, over-simplicity, and lack of gameplay. Both sides will present their evidence after a brief recess.

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    Your Personal Soundtrack: Daft Punk - One More Time

    After obsessing over acts like Justice and Hot Chip recently, I decided to go straight to the source of the fountain from which this current wellspring of new electronica groups flow: The almighty, Daft Punk.

    Coming straight from their mythically surreal pyramid fortress, we have their most notable hit "One More Time" and it's easy to see why (long after they started in the 90s) they're still infectious in all the ways a gimmicky dance duo should be.

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    Podcast for 01-15-08 | Mack's Baby Daddy

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    This week, Mack, Chris, Colette and Qais react with indignant disgust at the recent Mass Effect "controversy", talk about Goldeneye for the Xbox Live Arcade being canned, Yoda and Darth Vader in Soul Calibur and then discuss why we game. Apple's new Macbook Air is drooled over, and Chris is on cold meds the entire show, which makes for entertaining rambling. Be sure to stay tuned for the end of the show, where Mack makes a very special announcement (he's pregnant, and Qais is the father. Spoiler alert!)


    Download the show here, and subscribe to the feed to receive them as they are uploaded.

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    Your Personal Soundtrack - The Books: Smells Like Content

    The Books is my coding music. The kind of music that just puts me in the mode to roll up my sleeves and dive headfirst into work. The Books are just two guys, one with a guitar and another with an electric cello. Mike and I saw them perform this song - Smells like Content - live last year, and the syncopated text playing behind the performers was mesmerizing. What is funny about The Books is that they use a massive amount of audio samples from what sounds like movies from the 1960s or 70s. As I listened to their albums over the years I had a distinct image in my mind of what these people from the sound clips looked like. Then, when I finally saw them perform live, they played the video from the sound clips, and for the most part they matched up. Very strange.

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    Lasagna Cat

    I've long been a fan of Garfield. When I was in my misspent youth, I would draw the dumb fucker over and over again in my notebook, dreaming of the day when I, too, could make scads of money off repeating the same three jokes endlessly for the newspapers. That dream died when I learned that newspaper comic syndicates hate babies, but my love for Garfield has taken a new, 21st century twist. How?

    Well, it's easy to understand. Garfield cannot actually talk. Jon is insane. The life of a desperately horny bachelor and his bizarrely pampered cat and constantly abused dog becomes really very funny when you realize it's a chronicle of one man's slow descent into the darkest regions of the soul.

    Imagine my glee when I discovered the Lasagna Cat series on Youtube, by Fatal Farm, who previously wowed the world with some truly bizarre DuckTales fursuit rape fantasy porn. In the spirit of Andy Warhol, Jim Davis is tributed with endless (and I do mean endless.... there are about 30 of these things) live action presentations of Garfield and Jon's wacky exploits. Here's a few to whet your whistle...

    Garfield and Liz have a Fischerspooner moment.

    Final Fantasy VI? Don't mind if we do! (With "Lasagna" as a player character!)

    Garfield's Rotten Tomatoes entries come back to haunt him.

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    Podcast bumped to tomorrow

    bluesnowball.jpgI know all you guys need your fix of cantankerous, grumpy ramblings every Monday or Tuesday morning. If the podcast is even a second late, usually I get a flood of emails from you guys wondering if we are dead, or something equally horrible. Do not despair, fair reader/listener! While I am sick today and not in any shape to record a podcast, the outlook for tomorrow looks good. Look for a podcast update Tuesday evening.

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    Eugene Mirman on the Primaries

    Someone asked me a politics question last week and I realized I hadn't watched The Daily Show in about three months. Where was I to get my news? If you are in the same bandwagon, fear not! For Eugene Mirman is here to provide you with your recommended dose of political tomfoolery. With the writer's strike still on, it's neat to see all these fun videos cropping up all over the web. It feels like a sort of creative state of anarchy just on the verge of revolution.

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    Why Do We Game?

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    I know, that's a silly question. Why do we game? Well, because it's fun. Article's over, goodnight everyone. There's always something deeper though. This generation - more so than previous generations - seems to place high regard on playtime. Our personal lives are vastly more important than our professional ones, and we just plain like to play. Board games, chess, sports and other forms of play have been around for centuries but video games have captured imaginations far more than any previous incarnation of kicking a ball around or moving a carved piece across a board.

    Of course, video games are more immersive. As our technology increases we are able to provide increasingly more realistic simulations of the various environments we are trying to recreate. Games are more intricate and more detailed, but I believe there is something deeper to our obsession. I think it's us. It's how we were raised.

    Keep in mind this is entirely anecdotal. I am not a psychologist. I have a degree in Art, not in analyzing brain meats. I am just spewing a mind-dump on you this Monday morning as I sit on the couch with a horrible head cold. Maybe it's the NyQuil talking, but I felt like sharing something personal with you guys. I, like many of you geekateers, come from a "broken" home. My parents divorced when I was 7 and spread a lot of anger, resentment and other generally negative emotions about. That's not to say that children from divorced families don't grow up to be normal, fantastic citizens in their own right. Divorce is not a bad thing. Marriage is a bad thing; divorce is just the product of us finally reaching a breaking point after being fed lies since birth that every princess must find her prince, and that a man and a woman must both be present to raise a child. It doesn't work, it never has worked, give it a rest. No, I am mainly talking about the effect living in such a negative home situation had on my personal level of growth.

    After the divorce I spent a lot of time playing video games. I remember renting games from the local corner store religiously, playing through Mega Man 2, Final Fantasy and other NES classics. Sitting in front of that TV and experiencing the brilliance that was the NES heyday is one of my fondest memories of childhood. It was escapism, pure and simple. I was sitting there and having fun instead of listening to my parents argue violently. When they moved apart, I continued my obsession fueled by the fact that my mother was never at home. She was always out on dates, or out at bars after work, and my sister and I were left to our own devices in the evenings. Usually that meant playing video games or watching TV. Every other weekend, I would go to my Dad's house where we had an SNES that he kept over there so we had something to do. Between chores like mowing the lawn, I'd be playing more rented stuff like Secret of Mana, Earthbound, Final Fantasy 3 and Actraiser. I always loved the games that I could spend massive amounts of time in - real marathon sessions with Harvest Moon and SimCity. I'd stay up late, past when everyone had gone to bed and turning the sound down to barely a whisper. I'd let the quiet of the evening sink in while I sit there and play through these brilliant games.

    Of course, having the SNES at my Dad's house meant that I couldn't play it all the time. I had to wait every other weekend, and when that time came you better be damn well sure I played it as much as I could. During the Summer that meant my Dad yelling at me to play outside, which I never understood. I was never athletic, I sunburned easily, had allergies and just felt more comfortable indoors with these highly intellectual and supremely fun games. Why would I want to go experience tired, sunburned sneeziness when I could quest with Moogles?

    When the N64 came out, I had just received my very first paycheck from my very first paying job ever. I spent it on the N64 and a copy of Star Fox 64 and never left my bedroom. My friends would come over almost nightly to play Smash Brothers and Goldeneye. Now that I had my own money, I could get games whenever I wanted to, and it became a kind of natural high. It was a sort of a "screw you" to my Dad that now I could play games as long as I want, whenever I wanted to. I'd pick up a new game from the local Game Crazy. I'd tear off the cellophane and open the box, immediately smelling the manual. I'd read it cover to cover to make sure that I got everything out of my purchase. I was going to experience every single second of this game because I bought it.

    This kind of obsessive behavior has spread to my adulthood. I still choose to escape into video games, but now that it's become part of my professional life as well it feels a bit less dirty. Everyone I know plays video games, and it's fast becoming one of the most successful forms of media, surpassing the movie industry by far. Is it still escapism? For me, only sometimes. Now I game for various reasons: to keep up with the industry (Halo 3), to relax (E4), to have fun with friends (Rock Band).

    Going through my very own divorce this year has made me contemplative about life in general. As I grow older I notice similarities between my parents and I. Whereas at my age my parents were giving birth to me and working long hours in order to survive, I put my focus on how much time I can spend with friends, and how many hours a day I can squeeze in game time. I am by no means hardcore, I don't play shooters and tend to gravitate more towards adventure or puzzle games - stuff I can pick up and put down at any time. My gaming tastes have changed, but the reason I play remains the same.

    Why do you game?

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    Move over, Zero Punctuation.

    I love Youtube. I love that it gives the common man an opportunity to voice his opinions. I love that the common man is genuinely stupid.

    Seriously, seriously stupid.

    So stupid as to require a pause halfway through to examine one's hair.

    Yes.

    I may be mildly drunk.

    But I am full of schadenfreude, that this is the best fan the PS3 can come up with.

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    Your Personal Soundtrack - Portishead: Wandering Star

    Rumors of an April release for their first new studio album in almost 10 years have rekindled my deep love for Portishead. I just hope their new album feels as classic and timeless as their old stuff. Here is one of my favorite songs performed live, Wandering Star.

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    What are you playing this weekend?

    wowhorde.jpgIt seems most everyone has jumped back on the World of Warcraft bandwagon, and by most everyone I mean my girlfriend and I. Blizzard has made it super easy these days to level and the amount of instant gratification WoW used to provide has somehow increased exponentially. I know, I didn't think it could happen either. It's been insane amounts of fun playing WoW with someone sitting right next to me, just sort of duoing our way across Azeroth. I've also been reading (what!) a bit more than usual, which is nice! What are you guys playing this weekend? Anything fun and crazy and new? Anyone pick up the new Harvey Birdman game?

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    Browser Game: Tetrical

    tetris.jpgWhen I was younger my cousins and I would have epic Tetris tournaments, nearly always resulting in a knock down, drag out fight over sour grapes based accusations of cheating. Unfortunately I never got to the frothing madness levels of the game, at which point your fingers become an unrecognizable blur as you crouch over your keyboard (the chair having long since been abandoned). As such, Tetrical is an exercise in frustration and battling flashbacks of defeat and the echoing cheers of my triumphant cousins. So hey, two games for the price of none. If Tetris in 3D is too hard (or you simply can't stop laughing at the name Tetrical) try Cubical, an easier version.

    [via CoolHunting]

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    Echo Chamber Round Up [week of 01/07]

    Yoda in SCIV

    It was a bit of a slow week here at The Weekly Geek, not because there wasn't anything happening in the game world, but because there was too much. CES was wrapping up and every single game site decided that they needed to report on the exact same thing everyone else was reporting on. In case you were living in a cave this week, here's a round up of the things you missed.

    • Yoda and Darth Vader in Soul Calibur IV

      Just like in SCII, SCIV is going to have console-exclusive characters, this time making every geek's pants just a little bit wetter with Star Wars characters. Enjoy the sound of a thousand geeks crying out in joy with GayGamer, Joystiq, Wired, X3F, Kotaku, Kotaku, GayGamer, Kotaku, X3F, Joystiq and *deep breath* Destructoid.

    • Bioshock movie rumors

      I am not entirely sure why we even need a Bioshock movie considering the game was better than any movie could ever hope to be, but we live in a backwards world where studios think raping a game franchise in order to produce something that will just be shat out onto DVD in 3 months is a good idea. Here's what people had to say on Joystiq, X3F, etc etc etc.

    • Bioshock Prequel in the works?

      The Bioshock rumors keep flying with word that the sequel will actually be a prequel depicting Rapture's fall. Interesting? Maybe! Seen on Destructoid, GayGamer, Wired, Joystiq, X3F, Kotaku.

    Come on, you guys. Come on. I must have read the same five articles over and over again all week long. Let's be original, mmkay?

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    Your Personal Soundtrack: Hot Chip – I Was A Boy From School

    Thumping like something off a Fatboy Slim record, but with the feeling of Junior Boys, Hot Chip are masters at crafting aurally pleasing, never overbearing electronica. “I Was A Boy From School” has a standard groove to it, yet as it progresses, small xylophones and tingling dulcimers come out of the woodwork. It’s perfect for trudging along in a grayed-over day.

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    Make Pixel Art Cookies With A Play-Doh Extractor

    Tetris CookiesOver at BoingBoing, Herr Doctorow links us to a nifty how-to about making pixel art cookies! Apparently you use a Play-Doh extractor (the one that makes square-shaped noodles) and stack the colors of cookie dough together. Clever! Does this mean we are going to see a flood of gaming cookies in 2008, replacing 2007's obsession with gaming cakes?

    Alternate blog post ending: insert joke about the cookies making a Tetris in your stomach, disappearing in the process. New diet fad?

    [link via BoingBoing]

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    Sony Drops DRM With New Download Service

    sonybmgmusicpass.jpgOn last night's podcast we spoke briefly about the advantages of digital distribution over physical media and the changes that are likely to occur in this direction eventually. One of those changes is the removal of DRM, and it appears that Sony has stepped up to the plate.

    Sony has announced their new DRM free download service which they (presumably) hope will allow them to relax Apple's stranglehold on digital distribution of media. Debuting in the U.S. and Canada on June 15th, Sony's digital distribution service, called MusicPass, will act much like a gift card system. Essentially, customers will purchase an album card (for $12.99) from a physical store, and then use the card to download their music. Once the full roll out has been completed cards will be available in Best Buy, Target, Fred's, Coconuts, FYE, Wherehouse, Spec's, and Winn-Dixie.

    Granted this isn't the best way to accomplish digital distribution, however, Sony is the last major music distributor to effect a DRM free digital distribution service. As such, the inception of this service marks a momentous occasion, that now a majority of music distributors at least have a DRM free digital distribution system in place.

    It may be a while before a majority of users adopt a digital distribution system as their main source of music acquisition but it's important to keep in mind that changes in policy (staunch policy at that) by large corporations are often a reflection of market desire. The wave was started long