Necronomicon #41: Reality TV
Originally Published 8-2-05
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December 2007 Archives
Rocking out on Vocals and Guitar at the same time
Check out this video of Qais this weekend, attempting to play Radiohead's Creep on Rock Band, guitar and vocals simultaneously. Totally rockin'.
Books That I Have: Charon's Ark
We're starting a new feature here at The Weekly Geek called Books That I Have. Every week we will profile a strange, funny, interesting or otherwise rare book that we have in our home libraries.
Geeks are a strange breed, and most, though not all, have had occasion to deal with one group or another of drooling mongoloids seemingly bent on doing nothing but making said geek's life miserable. Imagine now, that the tables have turned, and that the power is in the hands of the geek. Not 15 or 20 years later like we all know is likely, but now, armed only with the skill most adolescent geeks have on hand; a near encyclopedic knowledge of science fiction, video games, aliens, monsters, robots, dinosaurs, and everything else that loner kids with more imagination than inclination to socialize find interesting.
Charon's Ark features just such a geek; Charlie Freeman, who, when he and some schoolmates are kidnapped by aliens destined for the moon of Pluto, is finally able to put to use the hours spent absorbing fantastic tales of space aliens and starship travel. It's an adolescent geek's dream! Finally, the outcasts are running the show, and much like you'd imagine a beaten man to do when facing down his brutalizers, the show run is rife with petty revenge.
But that's the best thing about Charon's Ark; every character is believable, human, people you interact with, people some of you are. It's easy to see parts of ourselves in the characters author Rick Gauger expertly plays out across the pages of Charon's Ark, easier still to rejoice with their triumphs, feel the crush of their follies, and let the hair on the back of your neck stand in fear with their danger. We are the characters, and Rick reminds us that, regardless of the labels we apply to ourselves and have applied to us by others, none of us is all one thing or the other.
Yes, most of the characters are kids, teenagers even. Hell the book itself is often classified as "Young Adult", but don't allow yourself to be fooled. Much like the characters are all themselves realistic and human, they are all also realistically dealt with. The kids at times are near totally sociopathic monsters, as kids occasionally are, and Rick attempts no illusion regarding the horrible things that can happen in extreme situations with a gaggle of panicked, unruly kids about. The book is at times incredibly grim, unlike other SF aimed at adolescents which hopes to paint a picture of a world in which real bad things only happen to people over 18, and as such honest and straightforward with it's intended audience.
Sadly, I didn't discover Charon's Ark until much later in life, which while not hampering my enjoyment of it in the least did leave me wishing I had found this book when I was Charlie Freeman; young, awkward, and with a head full of aliens, monsters, robots and dinosaurs. My head is still full of robots and dinosaurs, but the visceral feeling of being the shunned embarrassment of my peers has long since passed (mostly). The geeks of the world thank you Rick, for the paperback arm around the shoulder in youth, the epic tale of spacenapped kids, but most importantly, for the reiteration that an imagination is the most important tool you will ever have. Every kid that has ever felt misunderstood, alone, weird, left out, alien or otherwise ostracized should own a copy of this book, and you should too.
What are you playing this weekend?
I hope you all had a fantastic break. Mine? Slightly stressful. But that doesn't matter! You probably have at least one awesome new game to play this weekend, I am guessing a whole slew of new Portal and Bioshock fans are being created as we speak. I will be spending some time with my Wii, playing NiGHTS and Zack and Wiki, and maybe even checking out the Napoleon Dynamite game for the DS. That's right, there's a Napoleon Dynamite game.
What are you playing this weekend?
Your Personal Soundtrack: Sigur Ros - Vaka (Untitled 1)
Nothing makes me happy like Sigur Ros. It's my ultimate personal soundtrack. When I'm feeling low, or just want to chill out with a cup of hot tea on a cold, dreary, rainy morning, I put on Sigur Ros and everything just feels a little bit brighter. I recently picked up their DVD, Heima, and I heartily recommend it. The sparse imagery of Iceland mixed with the absolutely transcendent music of Sigur Ros is an incredibly moving experience. Their music videos are just a small sample of how amazing this band is, and this video for Vaka is one of my favorites.
Echo Chamber Round Up [week of 12/24]
Are you as annoyed as I am at your RSS reader getting filled up with the same damned article over and over again, copied and pasted on every gaming blog from Kotaku to Destructoid to Joystiq and on and on and on? Are memes getting you down, but you want to stay up on what's hot in gaming news? Turn to our new feature, the Echo Chamber Round Up. Each week we will profile the stories that made it big in blockquote land, in an easy to digest format. I will also give the best article in each subject an imaginary prize. Maybe a psychic cookie. Those are delicious.
- Photoshop Phriday Grocery Cart warnings - perennial favorite Something Awful provided us with some quality gaming-related Photoshops to fill up the blogroll this week, with clever Bioshock and Portal art, always guaranteed to get a few links back. Seen on: Joystiq, Xbox 360 Fanboy, Kotaku, digg. As always, I prefer the digg link for the retarded comments.
- 9 Year old playing Dragonforce on expert - seen on Xbox 360 Fanboy, Dtoid,. Of course the Dtoid one wins because Colette wrote it <3.
- Portal Legos - Yes, we understand that Portal is great. Please stop going crazy with the Portal memes, thx. Seen on Joystiq, Geek Dad, Boing Boing Gadgets. BBG is one of my favorite new blogs this year, so they get the imaginary meme prize.
Unwrapping
I have many fond memories of unwrapping completely excellent gifts at X-Mas time, you can even see my look of glee at the acquisition of Teddy Ruxpin on an article posted earlier today. I remember the X-Mas when I first got an NES, I literally cried. It's neat to think that many a future gamer experienced similar moments this past week, and today I stumbled across this excellent post at DS Fanboy with a fantastic gallery of kids unwrapping Nintendo DS systems at X-Mas. This one of the red cheeked Bruce Lee fan (or something. Seriously, what is that kid wearing?) is my favorite.
Embarrassing Family Holiday Moments
I went back to the place that shall not be named for the first time in about 7 years this xmas. Due to various familial rifts post-high school, I chose to avoid any sort of activity in which I'd have to see my family, so holiday get-togethers have been an entirely foreign thing to me for a while. This year I had a change of heart and the overwhelming desire to impress my family with my ultra-awesome girlfriend and Rock Band won out. It was like stepping into a strange alternate dimension, where there's no wi-fi, decorations everywhere, holiday music plays and boozy drinks flow.
I managed to avoid the typical "hey my computer is acting up, can you fix it?" kinds of scenarios, and we all ended up playing Rock Band instead of pretty much anything else. Family and friends of my parents came and went, each one hesitantly looking at the game, and eventually breaking down and trying at least one song. It's remarkable to me how something like that really breaks down inhibitions and emotional barriers. Pretty much everyone just cut loose, singing Bowie songs and having an amazing time.
There were a few humorous moments when my parents sounded quite out of touch. My dad asked me how much a Playstation 360 costs. He wore tights and a football jersey when we had to go to Game Crazy to pick up a new component cable for my 360. I played some of Sufjan Stevens' Christmas recordings, to which my step-mother said indignantly "This is Christmas music?" They marveled at the wireless capability of the Nintendo DS, and even broke out the old Super Nintendo to play Mario All-Stars. It was surreal and humorous at times, but I survived.
I'd love to hear everyone else's holiday tales. How does your family respond to your geekiness? Are they oblivious or savvy? Did you get that Playstation 360 you've always wanted?
Your Personal Soundtrack: "Electro Livin'" by Akala
I am a voracious beast. My addiction to new music is near insatiable. My days are usually spent with at least one ear crammed with ear bud and a constant stream of noise flowing through it, occasionally dipping into my babbling brook of new things to snatch forth music like a wriggling fish for your enjoyment.
Akala may not be for everyone. There's a fair bit of rapping/rhyming going on over the incredibly hot beat and for many that can be an immediate turn off or appear in a song and completely ruin it. I'll be honest, on first listen I was angered at the initial appearance of Akala rapping over the track. My funky fresh beats had been stepped on by a feckless, supposed master of rhyme.
Eventually I found myself to enjoy the lyrical stylings of Akala; the lyrics are just right for strutting down the street on a rainy afternoon, head bobbing in time to the fat bassline, pretending you're electro living in the land of the light.
Nintendopunk
The latest Photoshop Friday over at the inimitable SomethingAwful comes with a couple steampunk re-imaginings of a DS, Wii, and Wiimote. Temper the overwhelming sadness you'll surely feel when you open that Wii rain check this Christmas with another picture of something you can't have.
Top 10 Albums of the Year Podcast
The time of the year to make our elitist decrees has come, and we here at The Weekly Geek think you should listen to our opinions. Because we are indie rock elitist bastards, that's why. Tune in to 2007's Top 10 Albums of the year podcast where Mike and Chris discuss what music stuck in their heads this year. From The White Stripes to Radiohead to John Vanderslice and more bands you probably haven't heard of. It's a long one, clocking in at over 2 and a half hours, but well worth it. Discover a new band today! Download the podcast here, or just subscribe to our feed. Podcast is about 100mb and 2 hours long. NSF56k!
Show notes after the jump.
Your Personal Soundtrack - The Aquabats: Super Rad!
While working at a college radio station, I had the opportunity to run into lots of music that I would not normally seek out on my own. There were a lot of typical indie and emo college-type bands that were a dime a dozen in our rotation. But every now and then I found a little diamond place in the rough by our program director. Super Rad! by The Aquabats is just such a diamond. This song appeared on the band's second album, during the big ska movement of the late 90s. The quick tempo and lively brass make this song a lot of peppy fun. I command you to watch this delightfully low budget music video.
Cinematic Titanic Very Nearly On Sale
The first episode of the MST3k-alike project Cinematic Titanic Goes on sale tonight. Cinematic Titanic, if you recall, is a collaboration between the original MST3k cast members Joel Hodgson (Joel), Trace Beaulieu (Crow/Dr. Forrester), J Elvis Weinstein (Tom Servo/Dr. Erhardt/Gypsy), as well as later MST3k writer/performers Mary Jo Pehl (Pearl Forrester) and Frank Conniff (TV's Frank). For their first venture they're taking on The Oozing Brain, a cinematic turkey that looks so bad it could even give Manos a run for its money.
If you're an obsessive geek and you can't wait until midnight to get your grubby hard-drives all over the digital downloads, you can check out the hi-res trailer here or head to their webpage for more information. I'm so excited I think I just peed a little!
Nintendo Confirms No Kirby Titles For The Wii
If you've listened to basically any of the podcasts I've been on here at the Weekly Geek you know that I have a love/hate relationship with Nintendo. Sometimes Nintendo gets a little uppity, and yeah I drink a bit so maybe I over react, but Nintendo knows I love them and...oh Nintendo, baby why do you make me hit you? However in this case, I'm pleading the Connery defense.
You see, Nintendo is at it again, having announced in Nintendo Power,
"There are no plans right now for a Kirby game on Wii but there are plenty of Kirby fans out there, so in the meantime look out for Kirby in the upcoming Super Smash Bros. Brawl which will be released in 2008."
Disappointing news considering Kirby has been one of my favorite Nintendo titles since Crystal Shards. Interestingly there is no mention of additional Kirby titles for the DS either in the affirmative or negative. If nothing else, for the Kirby fans at least the disappointment of no titles on the Wii might be slightly abated by the rampant speculation of new Kirby titles on the DS resulting from a lack of direct denial on Nintendo's part.
Rock Band Community Site Live
First it was live, then it was down and now it's live again. The Rock Band community site brings, as promised, some awesome social features for the already fantastic game. You can create a profile and link it to either your Xbox 360 or PS3 account and have all your bands and character data imported. Upload photos, keep a blog, add friends, fill out your favorite artists... go nuts! I am really looking forward to the future ability to get t-shirts made with your band name on them and junk. There is a ton of potential and I hope they keep the community going for a while. At least, until the next big thing hits and people get bored of Rock Band. Hah!
What are you playing this weekend?
It's time. This weekend the lady and I are going to attempt the Endless Setlist in Rock Band. Qais has chosen to bow out citing "women's troubles" though I imagine that is a filthy lie. This past week we completed the Band World Tour (or at least got the credit roll) and are ready to spend most of our Saturday rocking all 58 tracks in the game, in a row. I'm also going to find time to check out Nights for the Wii and then head on down to the Portland area for family-like activities. What are you playing this pre-holiday weekend?
Look Around You: Computer Games
British humor is fairly hit or miss with a lot of people, often times falling into the realm of incomprehensibly odd. This incomprehensibility however is often what makes those of us on the American side of the pond love it so. The Look Around You series has the late 70's/early 80's shtick down pat, so much so that I questioned if this were a gag show or a bit of surreal ephemera from yesteryear. This clip on computer games toes the line of believability, you want to believe it's real, if only so that these strange, affected people are real.
Your Personal Soundtrack - Yann Tiersen
Amélie is one of my badge movies. One of those movies you whip out in conversation when someone asks "what's your favorite?" I freely admit that I cry at the end of this movie every time I watch it, not from sadness but from sheer uplifting joy. Besides the stunning cinematography, beautiful acting and womanly charms of Audrey Tautou, the soundtrack is one of my absolute favorite film soundtracks of all time. Yann Tiersen is an amazing composer, and as of late I have been listening to his various works. It's the perfect ambient music for working to, but my favorite setting for listening to Yann is a rainy Saturday morning with a cup of tea and my RSS reader in front of me. Here's A Quai, from the Amélie score. Enjoy!
Buzzword Bingo
On the last podcast I ranted a bit about my day job and how much I loathe the term "viral marketing". Seriously I think people who blindly use buzzwords and corporate speech need to take lessons on how not to be douchebags (not from me though, because we all know that I am the king of the douchebags). Over at Conversation Marketing, Ian Lurie has come up with a fun distraction for all of you who get equally furious at "viral marketing" and "web 2.0". It's printable and not in flash or anything, so dust off those inkjets and get angry at some words today!
(link via Conversation Marketing)
Full disclosure: Ian is actually my boss and seemed amused at my ramblings. Hah! Take THAT, corporate America!
Pinkapalooza: The Recapening
Last night was the first, of what will hopefully be many, Pinkapalooza; an event put together by the awesome folks at Pink Godzilla as a charity benefit for Child's Play. The event kicked off with several rounds of Rock Band, which The Pink Godzillas rapidly dominated with a score of 2 million and then some. Although admittedly they did employ a secret weapon, of which ample use was made. Never before have I seen a man employ both cowbell AND pelvic thrusting with such skill. I'm told that with therapy and the right combination of psychoactive medications the nightmares will eventually end.
Paradise City Map Revealed
Criterion Games has released a map of the crash grounds called Paradise City, and it's huge. A brief glance shows a multitude of courses and terrain, all guaranteed to please or at least leave you loosing a spit riddled expletive stream at your TV. Look closely however, and you'll be marking out sweet jumps and plotting horrific crashes at hairpin turns, the wheels of automotive evil slowly turning in your head.
I defy you to memorize this map, with it's weaving roads and intersections seemingly designed by a sadistic, crack addled, 8 year old. Eyeing the intertwining arteries of Paradise City invokes a bowel loosening fear and sense of helplessness. Like a small child stumbling through a dark forest of asphalt, carnage, and a bevy supercharged machinery bent on cataclysmic destruction.
Take note, weep softly, and tremble with anticipation friends; Paradise City will be amazing.
Review: Fire Emblem - Radiant Dawn (Wii)
Fire Emblem, Japan's darling 17 year old RPG/RTS series (finally sailing to North America on the GBA in 2003), has stepped into the next-gen with an appearance on the Wii: Fire Emblem - Radiant Dawn. My first 10 minutes with this title were impressive - a gorgeously designed menu system lead me into the first chapter of the story - an incredible cut-scene offering some of the best visuals I've seen on the Wii. I was introduced to the game's central character, Micaiah, "the silver-haired maiden" and her pet bird. But before you go thinking I fell in love with an RTS that isn't Age of Empires or Final Fantasy Tactics, hit the jump.
Review: GripShift (Xbox 360)
There's a lot to like about GripShift. Its quirky design aesthetic, the bizarre level design, and the high flying stunt driving. Unfortunately the fun gets bogged down by repetition and a generic racing mode. Originally released for the PSP in 2005, GripShift has made the transition to Live Arcade with a few additions as well as a few things left out. The original game had, according to the website, over 100 levels as well as online multi-player and a level builder. The live version features hi-def graphics as well as some new even more impossible levels and a brand new deathmatch mode. Unfortunately the developers chose to discard the level editor, which would have been a welcome bit of variety.
The Single-Player portion of the game is broken up into Race Mode and Challenge Mode. Challenge Mode is the real meat of the single player campaign and could best be described as a platformer with cars. The missions take the form of increasingly complex obstacle courses that range from incredibly simple to physically impossible. This mode is fun for a while, and every map has three different objectives to accomplish. These objectives are completing the track with a fast finishing time, collecting every star on the map, and finding the hidden GripShift icon. These objectives never change from the first map to the last. It's impossible to accomplish every single objective in one run which means that in order to complete everything you'll have to run the mission several times. At the beginning this isn't really as issue because the maps take about 30 seconds to run. However the later missions can take several minutes to complete which means that it can take up a huge amount of time.
The race mode, in both single and multiplayer, is a rather generic kart racer. Basically the game cribs from Mario Kart in every respect. All the fun off-roading that made the Challenge Mode so much fun is explicitly discouraged. Instead of soaring over the heads of your opponents you'll mostly be trying to blow them up with rockets. Whereas the Challenge portion has a huge variety of quirky maps, the Race portion has only a few rather generic maps. As is often the problem with some Live Arcade titles, whenever I tried to find an online match nobody else seemed to be on. Consequently I wasn't able to try the deathmatch mode, but I've played the rumble mode in Mario Kart, so I'm probably not missing much.
Final Score: 2.5/5 Ultimately the little flaws keep piling up until they overwhelm and strangle the fun out of the game. If you've got too much money and absolutely need to play a new game right now, there are worse ways to spend your money. But you should probably save your points and buy some Rock Band DLC.
Weighted Companion Cube Hands-On Impressions
So weighted. Such a companion. Soft and fluffy like the cubes in my dreams.
And here we see Qais after the cube has eaten his entire head. Amazing. Is there nothing that adorable cube can't do? Look at it! B'awwwwww I think he winked at meeeeeeee.
Wayback Wednesday: Jet Force Gemini
Even after 10 years, I am still playing my N64. It was the first material possession I ever purchased with a paycheck, which I earned when I was 16 working for that staple of school field trips, the Oregon Museum of Science and Industry. I eventually fleshed out a nice collection of games, but the platform games from Rare were my favorite. Banjo-Kazooie, Conker's Bad Fur Day, Donkey Kong 64... I'd become immersed in their worlds for hours every day after school, and especially during the holidays when I had nothing better to do than sit and play games and inhale the comforting smells of roast turkey and pine needles from the x-mas tree.
One of my fondest memories was playing through a vastly underrated Rare gem: Jet Force Gemini. I recently picked this up from eBay after trading it in years ago to Gamestop for what was probably a dollar. Released in 1999, this game had a strange history of redesigns, where Rare originally designed the characters in a cute big-headed style, and eventually chose a more refined "mature" look. JFG introduced some concepts still used in games today, making it quite the important title. Unlockable characters, third person shooting/platforming and a robust multiplayer made this game years ahead of its time. Looking back on the graphics now, I remember being blown away by the detail and design. It doesn't really hold up, but if you squint you can pretend it's next-gen.
It's funny to look back and see their attempts at voice acting and storyline. The splatter effects of destroying the insect creatures feel almost like a proto-Gears of War. The little things that we take for granted in games these days were revolutionary in 1999, and JFG was at the forefront. Pity nothing came of the franchise.
If you haven't played the game, you can probably find it on eBay for less than $10. I highly recommend it, if just for the cheesy sci fi soundtrack. Journey back in time to an era when Rare actually still made good games! Oh yes I went there.
Duke Nukem Forever Teaser Released
This is it everyone, the moment we've been waiting nearly a decade for. Wait, scratch that. The moment we've been waiting a decade for is the actual release of the game, in all it's testosterone fueled, blonde crew cut coiffed glory. What we have here is the moment we'll all settle for, while we wait for a game that is nearly guaranteed to disappoint.
The teaser features about what you'd expect. Several monsters are featured, and it appears that pigs, squid, and what I could swear was a mutant sea cucumber will debut alongside the generic alien monsters we're used to. Duke flexes his obviously well rendered muscles and drops a one liner that falls incredibly flat, but you can tell he's just not into it. And can you blame him? My enthusiasm would have waned pretty quickly if my creators left me on an infinite plane of fog with just a cigar and weight set to keep me entertained for 10 years.
New Rock Band DLC Available
Of course with yesterday being Rock Band Tuesday, we get a nice assortment of downloadable content for the game of the year. Last week we saw a mediocre punk pack, but this time we are treated to three fantastic tracks:
- Radiohead - My Iron Lung (160pts)
- The Pretenders - Brass in Pocket (160pts)
- Weezer - Buddy Holly (160pts)
I downloaded them all and I must say they are quite enjoyable. It helps that I think that Radiohead is the greatest band of all time, and that Weezer defined the sound of the mid 90's, but whatever. Even the Pretenders' track is passable, even for being a pretender. Do you see what I did there? I'd like to see more tracks from the albums these are off of, or (dare I say it) the entire album available for download. I want to sing Fake Plastic Trees! I want to sing it NOW!
Hit the jump for samples or just go download them based on my advice alone. Would I steer you wrong? Come on.
Pink Godzilla Presents: Pinkapalooza
One of the things the Seattle gaming community often boasts of is our geographical proximity to what could be called the mecca of import and classic gaming: Pink Godzilla. The light red reptilian purveyors of that which the Geekmobile breaks for (as the bumper-sticker declares) have taken one step further in the process of setting the hearts of gamers the world over aflutter.
Combining four things most gamers love: liquor, RockBand, prizes, and altruism, Pink Godzilla is kicking off their first Pinkapalooza. Pinkapalooza will be held to benefit Penny Arcade's Child's Play charity, December 19th (that's tomorrow for the slow students), at the Nectar Lounge in Fremont.
Pinkapalooza will feature local 8-bit artist Leeni, a Battle of the Bands on RockBand, and drawings for a Wii (bundled with Super Mario Galaxies), a 360 Rock Band Special Edition, a bevy of 360 games, and Jones Soda: Christmas soda packs. A paltry 10 dollars at the door will net you entry (although the event is 21+) and 2 raffle tickets for the aforementioned prizes with each additional ticket running 5 dollars a piece.
Come join the Weekly Geek crew for a little merriment for a good cause, and if altruism isn't your thing think of all the people that will inevitably clamor after your crusted hide following a public demonstration of your music simulation prowess.
via GayGamer
New World of Warcraft Advertisement
The folks over at ActiBlizz or BlizzVis or ActiZard or whatever they're calling themselves these days have released another of those strange World of Warcraft commercials. The most recent features my favorite diminutive Hollywood star, Vern Troyer.
There is something about that little man that fills my heart with a strange glee. Hit the jump for ads featuring Mister T and William Shatner, both just as excellent as Mr. Troyer's.
E3 Returns To LA Convention Center
Sadly, unlike my cohorts, I was unable to attend last year's E3. As such, I only experienced what was arguably the best example of fixing something that isn't broken through the various tales of horror related to me. Journos across the board were shuffled hither and thither in a strange pantomime of the Keystone Cops, often arriving late for, or missing entirely, interviews and panels which I am sure they'd rather have attended.
It appears that next year E3 returns to its old home in the Los Angeles Convention Center for 2008. The ESA was quick to note that the return of E3 to it's ancestral spawning grounds did not indicate a return to the epic trade show style convention of old with, "press events and small meetings" being the order of the day and the likely possibility of Kentia hall being turned into the freeplay hangar.
E3 will take place July 15-17, yet sadly, most of us will have to make do with E for All, lacking the sweet, sweet journalistic credentials (however seemingly apocryphal and overblown) to be considered for such an event. A chosen few from the 'Geek will make a daring journey to the streets of Los Angeles, armed with badges and cameras, to paw creepily at barely clothed booth girls and incite volleys of snide remarks wherever necessary.
Podcast for 12-17-07 | Comical Violence
This week, Chris, Qais, Colette and Flynn from GayGamer.net wrap up 2007 with a show so amazing your head will explode. Qais gushes about Burnout Paradise (or, just the demo. It was a really good demo.) We ponder how 2k developers could ever hate Ken Levine, Chris rants a bit about radical social change during a Ninja Gaiden discussion (as he do). Fake words are also discussed, as well as a horrible trip down memory lane involving our first blogs. Download it right here, or subscribe to the feed. Or both! Hit the jump for show notes.
Ninja Gaiden 2 Gameplay Video
Have a look-see at the recently released game play video for Ninja Gaiden 2. Itagaki's notoriously difficult sequel to the 360's Ninja Gaiden looks to be gruesomely violent, something we here at Chez Geek are all fans of. However, the obvious violence present in the game play video begs the question why are some games singled out as exceptionally violent (Manhunt 2) where others are often ignored?
Your Personal Soundtrack - Coheed and Cambria: Welcome Home
We should just name this feature "songs in Rock Band that we really like". While I usually scoff at bands that have the pedigree of opening for AFI and the like, Coheed and Cambria fascinate me. Their albums are all part of a huge sci fi story arc surrounding two characters, Coheed and Cambria. They have this fantastic alt-metal epic sound, and this track titled Welcome Home is one of the most fun songs to play in Rock Band. Okay granted, they are all fun.
You just can't beat a music video featuring a double necked guitar. COME ON.
Your Personal Soundtrack is a semi-daily feature at The Weekly Geek where we profile a song that we have stuck in our heads, making it a sort of Personal Soundtrack. Check out the archives here.
EA's Product Support Challenges My Will To Live
A week and a half ago I decided to take the very generous offer that EA had put forth to replace Rock Band Guitars that don't function properly. A co-worker had done it and it had worked well for her so I decided to give it a shot. I went to the Rock Band product support website and registered for a replacement guitar. I decided to take advantage of the Express delivery option. Using this I'd put $125 down as a deposit and then they'd 2-day mail me a guitar. Take the new guitar out of the box, put the old guitar in and send it back with the pre-paid slip. Easy as punch.
Upon completing the registration and inputting my credit card number I was told to wait for the confirmation email. It didn't arrive that day and I got distracted by other things and didn't think about it until a couple days later. I decided to call up the EA technical support hotline (which is impossible to find if you don't have the game manual right there, so that adds 15 minutes to the call time). After waiting on hold and being forced to listen to awful hold music from the Burnout games and Madden I finally got in contact with someone there. He told me that the guitar had been shipped and he gave me a tracking number, a reference number, and an RMA number. I checked the tracking number on the UPS website and it said it was already in town and out for delivery. Great!
The day passes and no truck arrives. I go to the tracking page and it says the package has been delivered to the "mail room" to someone named "Macy". Well great, only we don't have a mail room, and who the hell is Macy. At this point I'm still not panicking because I know that UPS sometimes delivers to the Post Office who then actually take it to the address. I give it another day to arrive. It doesn't.
I call UPS and they say that something has happened and that the local UPS distribution center will call me if they can figure out what happened to it. I call EA and tell them that UPS lost the package and that I'd like a refund on my $125 and for them to send out an empty box for the standard replacement. For some reason the support person's phone keeps cutting out and breaking off and I am disconnected before I can confirm the details. Since I took a break to call him during my work day and I didn't have time to call back I had to hope that everything worked out. Heading back to my computer I saw a new ticket added in on their site and figured it had gone through.
A couple hours later I got a call from the local UPS distribution center. They'd figured out what had happened. Apparently they delivered the guitar to the mail room of one of the dorms on the university campus near my house. They had no explanation for this. They offered to send a driver to retrieve it the next day but I told them I would go pick it up myself. After work a friend and I walked across the campus and went to the mail room and claimed the package (maybe from Macy, I didn't ask).
I packed the old guitar and sent it back and I figured that even with the muddled delivery, that was that. Well the guitar should have arrived by now and I still haven't received my deposit back. On Friday I received a box in the mail from EA games. It's a box for drums. I called technical support Saturday and they told me that they don't have record of the guitar being returned or even sent. Then she told me she was going to escalate the issue.
"I'm going to have a senior customer service person call you tomorrow," she said.
"Why not today?"
"They're not here on weekends."
"So they're going to call me tomorrow."
"Yes."
"Which is a Sunday..."
"Mhmm."
Right now I'm pretty sure that my $125 is gone for good. I realize that EA games isn't at fault for the delivery but they completely mishandled every point where they were involved. I don't know what to do. Ideas?
Your Personal Soundtrack - Real Life: Send Me an Angel
The Wizard has a special place in the hearts of (most of) the staff here at The Weekly Geek. It's a big, horrible, unabashed Nintendo commercial and yet we loves it so. The main love theme or whatever from the movie was by a little Australian new wave band that really didn't do anything else of note. Not that I'd really call being on on the soundtrack of The Wizard "of note". In any case, it's wonderfully 80s and gets stuck in your head for days upon days upon days. Now that it's stuck in my head again, allow me to do the same for you.
Your Personal Soundtrack - He's a Pirate
I highly enjoyed the Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy, and most everyone likes at least the first one. One of the great things about the movie was the fantastic original score. The main theme prevalent throughout the whole of the score fits in so nicely no matter how composer Klaus Badelt arranged it. If you have a chance, listen to all the songs on the soundtrack. But the He's a Pirate track focuses solely on that main theme. And it's so good. Y'know how they say that things that have neat mathematical properties tend to be extra aesthetically pleasing in media such as art and music? Well this is the first song I have ever consciously noticed that seems to fit in both 4/4 and 3/3 time. Go ahead, listen to it and count off. 1, 2, 3, 4, 1, 2, 3, 4. And then 1, 2, 3, 1, 2 3. It works. It's crazy but it works.
What You Really Sound Like Playing Rockband
Rockband is a great game not only for it's incredibly engaging game play and , but also (mostly) because it provides us all with a brief respite from the harsh realities of our stultifyingly dull lives. For a moment you can let the world of cubicles, TPS reports, and passive aggression melt away, for a moment...you can be a rock star.
However we here at The Geek enjoy our schadenfruede, and as such we bring you this video of what you probably actually sound like playing Rockband. Let your illusions wash away in the waters of vicious, brutal, off key, arrhythmic reality and weep.
via Game|Life