The Lessons Of The Past
In Pittston, Pennsylvania, a 14-year-old boy was suspended from school and authorities are considering terrorism threat charges for notebook sketches of Halo.
In Georgetown, Delaware, a 15-year-old boy was suspended from school for wearing a black trench coat several years after the infamous Columbine shootings.
Interestingly, both are true events and both are complete and utter travesties of justice. Interestingly, the school's case is based on the fact that the teenager said something along the lines of, "I'm thinking of murdering you." My school based my suspension on the fact that I looked weird, instead, this unfortunate young man's school based his on here-say. It's difficult to say which is worse. Considering I told countless members of my alma-mater that I not only was, but had often thought of murdering them, I'm surprised this kid hasn't been signed, sealed, and delivered into the hands of an apoplectic school board-cum-judiciary out to make an example of one poor kid.
School officials claim this kid sat on top of his roof and shot pigeons with an assault rifle. I'm not sure how many of you have shot an assault rifle, but I'd like to inform you that it's one of the most gratifying experiences of your as yet unfulfilled life, it's also pretty loud. Having some experience with the tendencies of Eastern seaboard neighbors I can say unequivocally that if anyone, let alone a child, shot off an assault rifle once, let alone multiple times, the police and a new catch phrase would've been involved faster than you can say, "Don't tase me bro."
Granted, the residents of this podunk burb are probably too stupid to realize the difference between an airsoft gun and an assault rifle but even so, this kind of thing is an indelible mark on the report card of gamers worldwide. We're all horrible, blood craving monsters, we have been since childhood, and the inception of video games is simply an outlet for all of us to hone our vicious and coldblooded skills.
Thankfully, the day has yet to come when I'll unleash my vicious brutality on the world, but the years of my adolescent training will see the light. Alternately, I'll just play Portal again and laugh at another of Furniss' fart jokes while we make fun of bros.
via N4G
