Terrible Christmas Cartoon Advent Calender #2: CAVE CHRISTMAS
One of several Super Mario Christmas specials that will grace the table during this Festival of Low Lights, Cave Christmas arrives rather late in the franchise's NBC career, after Princess Peach met Milli Vanilli and ostensibly before the incredibly ill-advised guest appearance by Barbara Fucking Bush, this season dispatched utterly with Toad and replaced him with an obnoxious cave-boy named "Oogtar". Did they bother to get a new voice actor, though?
No.
Oogtar is the exact same voice as Toad, only a little gruntier. I wouldn't mind Oogtar so much if he wasn't a blatant rip off of an already RETARDED character, Bubba Duck.
Anyway, the plot here is relatively simple. Oogtar enjoys bullying Off-Model Yoshi. Mario decides to pump some Biblical Consumerism up their asses. Bowser and Morton Koopa Jr. (or Koopa and Bully if you're a retard) interject. Wackiness and big Peach hair ensues. Painful.
One question... what does Peach's enormous jewel on her dress do? Is it the source of her power? What is she doing in Dino-Land? Is Toadsworth staging a coup d'etat? So many questions. Too little gravity control.
