The Epic Tale of Zelda Guy
Seattle is lucky enough to have some of the best street crazies I've yet to run across. There's Crazy Screaming Guy, an obese hermaphrodite prone to waving a gigantic wooden fork around while screaming epithets, the Scarf Man, and a man called Pissbeard because of his enormous yellow beard that speaks in falsetto. However one of the most notable Seattle street crazies is The Zelda Guy.
Sightings of Zelda Guy are sporadic at best, making them a particular treat in what might be an otherwise ordinary day. He is always seen wearing a Zelda track jacket, a green elf's cap, and baggy white pants tucked into large leather boots. Like any hero worth his salt he is never without his trusty blade, a battered aluminum baseball bat sheathed in an equally battered backpack. Always at his side is his trusted elder companion, a seemingly normal man who almost certainly possesses power the likes of which the world is not yet ready for. I am certain Zelda Guy, in his infinite wisdom and benevolence, keeps his companion's nearly boundless rage in check. I say this with experience, having been threatened and shrieked at by said companion on my numerous attempts to photograph them.
One must wonder what possesses a man to dress up as a video game character every day for years on end and Zelda Guy answers that question for us all. A man doesn't just wake up one day deciding to dress like a complete nutter (unless he's that creepy Peter Pan guy). Men like these have a calling, a mission to protect the weak and innocent, and in the process to look like the waifish elf-boys they emulate.
