Review: Portal (Xbox 360)
While Portal is just 1/5th of Valve's excellent Orange Box, I am reviewing it separately because it deserves it. I am also shaking up the normal review formula we use here at The Weekly Geek because Portal shakes up the way we think about video games. So there.
It's difficult to discuss Portal in any fashion that doesn't reveal spoilers. So I am saying to you right now, don't read this if you haven't played it. If you haven't played it, go pick it up. I am going to say right here in the beginning of the article that it is probably the game of the year. Yes, even over Bioshock. This is a must-own game for anyone who is a fan of fun. It's genuinely hilarious, challenging without being frustrating, and so well-designed and polished I literally cannot come up with any flaws to harp on. Yes, it's that good. Go get it. Got it? Played through it? Good. Hit the jump for my review.
Usually when I review a game, I can find a couple flaws to harp on. Being a hateful, bitter person (or at least that's the persona I play on the podcast) I like to find the smallest bit of improvement to be suggested in a game. Bioshock, for example. I wanted the characters to feel like they had more personality when I conversed with them (see: Half Life 2's facial expressions). But with Portal, I just can't find anything to rant about. It's a perfect game from start to finish. The difficulty is fine-tuned to guide you logically through the various puzzles, without feeling like your hand is being held. The humor hits you in the very first scene in the rejuvenation chamber, and just doesn't let up. The game is a perfect length, a little precious nugget of joy that you will want to go back to and play through. Lucky for us, developer commentary is included so you can play through and really get some insight into what makes the game tick.
Playing Portal feels fresh and new in a vast sea of homogeny. Beyond all the World War II shooters, sports games, party game compilations and rehashes and remakes - there's the feeling of never having played a game like Portal. It feels like the emergence of a new genre, and for that alone it's notable.
Portal features a very unconventional antagonist, GLaDOS. She is a computer who guides you through your puzzles for a while, and then starts getting paranoid and sadistic. The majority of the humor in the game comes from her backhanded and dark comments. There is something especially spooky about a villain you can't see, and who is represented only by security cameras who follow your every move. Her dialog is brilliantly written, bolstered by the voice actor's exceptional passive-aggressive delivery. She becomes this fully fleshed out character, even adding character to inanimate objects such as the Weighted Companion Cube. GLaDOS telling you that the cube will never speak to you, and if it does to disregard its advice, is just the perfect little bit of character development. All of a sudden you feel like you should love the Companion Cube, just to be contrary. It's a remarkable feeling in a game.
Portal achieves a level of artistic brilliance that is vital to advancing the medium of video games. It feels like playing through an exceptional cinematic masterpiece. Portal is to video games as The Big Lebowski is to cinema. Every single scene is perfectly crafted, and after its finished you want to start it all over again.
I love this game. I love this game so hard. I want to go to Valve headquarters and give everyone involved a great big hug. And tell them how I can't get the song at the end out of my head. And then ask them how I can get the song at the end out of my head.
Score: 5/5 Buy it!
What say you?!