Dirty Dancing: The Game
It's a fairly well known fact that one of the favorite movies over here at Chez Geek is Steel Magnolias. Every time Shelby can't drink her juice Furniss and I hold each other and sob uncontrollably. However there's only so many times you can watch that kind of thing in a day without risking permanent damage to your tear ducts. So when we need an uplifting cinematic break it's always Dirty Dancing that we turn to.
Imagine my wonderment at discovering that there would be a game version of Dirty Dancing coming out soonish. I nearly lost control of all my bodily functions and wept golden tears from which tiny white flowers sprung as they hit the ground. I am that excited.
Granted, being excited about the game port of one of your favorite saucy dancing-centric movies is to be expected. But you see my excitement springs from a level of debasement and horrific fantasy the likes of which most men would weep before. My logic is as follows: any game developer made to work on Dirty Dancing: The Game will almost immediately turn to thoughts of suicide, there is simply no way to do justice to a film that is easily 2nd to one of the greatest cinematic masterpieces of our time (Steel Magnolias). Death is the only honorable solution. Realizing that his meager salary is the only thing feeding his nearly starving children he sees the error of his ways and attempts to recreate one of the best scenes in the movie, the post-abortion scene. Touching, heartfelt, and the moment at which Swayze reveals himself to be a conflicted but caring dance instructor, something I'm sure we can all agree touched our hearts.
Do you see where I'm going?
Yes there are dancing mini-games, and yes there are card games in which you inexplicably shuffle notable Jews from the movie around, but the latest video showing game play hasn't revealed I'm sure will be the crown jewel of this of yet to be born masterpiece. The wire hanger abortion mini-game. If you aren't absolutely thrilled at the prospect of mangling a uterus with a rusty coat hanger in a perverse pantomime of the scene we never saw then you are reading the wrong site my friends. Bet your bottom dollar that I will be in line with the rest of the Geeks come release day, cash in hand and a sick lust to act out my juvenile fantasies of being swung around by Patrick Swayze and never being put in a corner.
via Joystiq
