You Kids Get Off My Lawn - Metallica Sues Harmonix and Red Octane
UPDATE: Apparently this is a hoax. Man. Too bad it sounds completely convincing. In a completely unsurprising turn of events today, Metallica felt the need to show their advanced age and sue Harmonix and Red Octane for illegally distributing songs in the upcoming games Guitar Hero III and Rock Band. Hilarity from this article follows:
"The band learned its lesson the hard way with file sharing in the late 90s," counsel for Metallica told reporters in a statement released soon after the filing. "This time they want to do a pre-emptive strike before the music gets out there."Metallica's attorneys neither confirmed nor denied reports that they had issued subpoenas to major video game retailers asking for lists of customers who had pre-ordered copies of Guitar Hero III and Rock Band. When asked to comment, Gamestop representatives asked reporters if they were looking forward to Halo 3 and if they would like to maybe pre-order a copy to make sure they got one at the release.
Attorneys for the gaming companies named in the lawsuit were bemused by the lawsuit. "Our company paid a licensing fee to feature the track 'One' by Metallica in Guitar Hero III," counsel for Activision/Red Octane told reporters. "We don't understand why Metallica would turn around and sue us, unless they've gone from insane completely batshit insane since 2001, but we're confident that the law and our contracts will be enough to have this thrown out."
I vote for completely batshit insane. How out of touch do you have to be to think that just because a video game is technology, you know like computers and the Internets are that people are going to illegally file share your music. Metallica. No one wants your music. You really do suck. There's no need for all this effort. Just go rub some Ben-Gay on your joints. I know you have had a long, hard day of sucking and need the sweet sweet relief.
What say you?!