THE GEEK REACHES FOR THE AMERICONE DREAM: LIFE, LIBERTY, AND THE PURSUIT OF TASTY TRUTHINESS
As a chubby guy, I am a big fan of tasty desserts such as ice cream. I am also a big fan of The Colbert Report. So imagine my delight when I found that these two seemingly unrelated items were coming together in a whirlwind tour de force of sugary proportions. Enter Stephen Colbert's Americone Dream from Ben and Jerry. The legendary ice cream duo have created a special flavor in honor of America's favorite pundit. Can this new taste sensation stand up to the grand tradition of being named for Stephen, following such other worthy namesake receipients as a Hungarian bridge and a baby eagle? Tonight's edition of The Word is "click the jump."
I have to say, I was slightly disappointed when I opened the small decorative tub and was not assaulted by an explosion of eagles and freedom. Rather, inside was the next best thing. Creamy pure white vanilla ice scream filled the carboardy container. A ribbon of delicious caramel flowed throughout while a generous serving of waffle cone pieces covered in fudge were scattered through the cream. I liked how the fudge coating on the cone pieces kept the ice cream from soaking into the waffly goodness, keeping the pieces crunchy and not soggy. And that's all the crunch you need. None of that peanut nonsense in Stephen's ice cream. He doesn't buy into the liberal lie of legumes in our tasty treats. If I wanted extra protein with my ice cream, I'd put a scoop of neopolitan on a steak.
Well, needless to say, The Americone Dream stood up to the Colbert standard and impressed my taste buds to the very bottom of the tub. It was a tough job, but I stayed the course for our Geek-ateers and finished off the whole thing (with a bit of help from White Mage).
The bottom of the empty carton stared at me, almost taunting me. I was depressed for a moment, but then I remembered that since this ice cream was so good, I would have to eventually buy some more, thus spurring on the wheels of capitalism. Thank you, Stephen Colbert. Even in your ice cream, you inspire us all to keep Western ideals alive through the almighty dollar as we all reach out for our own little piece of The Americone Dream.
